This story is going to be a little bit different than you are used to read from me. I am not going to vent about my husband or any trouble what is bothering me. Today it’s been exactly 15 years what I’ve heard this life story from my dear friend and I would love to share it with you.
One summer afternoon I was sitting with Mrs. Anna on the porch of my parents’ house. This relaxing atmosphere brought many topics to talk about and the theme of life was no exception. When she said something to me I did not understand at all. “You know Ali, is very important to look at your life as you were on the stage.” “On the stage?” Mrs. Anna saw my confusion and by a simple gesture told me “listen and you will understand”.
“First I saw myself on the stage when I was seven years old when my mother died. My father who was an alcoholic did not have any interest in me and nobody was able to explain to me why others have caring and loving parents and I have no one who can ask me if I am hungry or tell me what to do when I have a stomachache. I envied all the children and I could not understand why someone hated their parents. I noticed as a child that life is very, very unfair and I wanted to know why. When my neighbors invited me for the hot soup I was ashamed. In my soul I hated them and avoided them. Of course, I pretended I was super full but in fact the last time I ate the soup was a month ago and I would eat it immediately. Everybody around me was bad and everything was disgusting. I lived with my sister for ten years who used me as a sitter and housekeeper for her three children. When I was eighteen she kicked me out of her house. And why? Because I bought a sweater, tights, pajama and books with the money I earned from my part-time job and for the first time I did not give it to her.
I was dreaming about studying at the university and to be educated. I wanted to know why the world is so unfair and why my destiny gave me a sister who hated me instead of someone who could love me. She did not only beat me but when I came home after my high school leaving examination she was yelling at me how horrible lazy person I am because I came home around 4 pm and the dishes were not cleaned, the dinner was not made and the house wasn’t neat. The word education did not mean anything to her. My sister has only three years of the primary school. Living with her I truly understood that education is an alpha and omega of a life. My sister has never looked on the stage. Maybe she was scared because she would see the picture of non-educated, lazy, hateful and fat women whose husband was an alcoholic and the whole world was responsible for that but her. She voluntarily married him, had children with him and instead of solving the problems she blamed everybody else for her misery and of course her closest people were hurt the most.
My drunken brother in law was breaking the kitchen furniture, beating his wife and chasing us with the knife around the house. He was screaming he is going to kill us so me and the other 3 children we were hiding on the top of the roof what was the only safe place because he was not able to climb the ladder and get us. When he fell asleep we could finally get out. Sometimes it was pouring all night. The next day he acted as the loveliest husband and father in the world. He cleaned, he cooked and he was actually like my father.”
After what I just heard I felt like the biggest selfish person and could not believe that I was ever complaining about my life. Anna continued and I was listening to every word.
“t was a terrible time, but I learned a lot. I learned that we should never give up and to be able to find the strength to look at the stage and find ourselves there. But it requires a lot of courage. When you see yourself it’s usually a breath taking because everyone wants to see themselves as the main character with the best role and never as an incompetent wretch blaming his parents, siblings, neighbors and teachers for their failures. This type of person thinks he is the smartest and everybody else on the stage is stupid. The audience is demanding and it doesn’t like useless characters which can’t see behind the corner or can’t anticipate the situation and find the right solutions. The reason is these heroes become boring after a while. They are not able to catch the audience and they can’t create any interesting dialog and the whole plot got stuck. This is really annoying for everyone. But when the main character changes his attitude and instead of never-ending excuses he is finally helping people around him and he puts other’s needs first then the audience wakes up and is excited to know how the story will end. There is a good vibration, the story culminates and everybody finds a piece for himself what moves his life forward.”
I wanted to interrupt her speech but Anna did not give me a chance. “I’ll tell you just one more thing Ali and we will go inside. I have a feeling it’s going to rain soon. The person is like a balloon. If there is just one tiny hole in it, the energy goes out. And it does not matter if the hole is on the top, on the bottom or on the side. All the bad things what person does that is the hole in the balloon and everything good is the cover around what fixes it. Someone is already born with a strong cover but he lets it to blow off and the happiness is gone. Someone has the balloon very weak but he is taking care of it and he is able to survive all natural disasters. But there is a catch. Everybody is responsible for the quality of their own balloon. Nobody will make the hole in it unless you let him and you also have to protect it by yourself. And that protection is love. To love people around us, what is the most valuable thing we can have. These are the words of Mother Theresa whose life proved the truth and meaning of these words. When our happiness wouldn’t be the only priority but we will focus on taking care of the others instead, only then we will live rich and a wonderful life filled with happiness. Because the life is never-ending and continues also in another dimension so that’s why we should start today.”
Mrs. Vlasta was right. It started to rain. We took all the things from the porch and hurried inside where we did not continue with our discussion. There was no reason. I’ve already learned the meaning of “the life as a stage.”